Warning: If learning about someone’s insecurities makes them less credible to you, then stop reading and feel free to unfollow me. But if you’re all too familiar with struggling to figure out how you can honor God when you’re not the best, not good enough, and your mind is drowning in insecurity…this is for you.
Following the whisper of God isn’t easy.
There are days when I feel inspired to write and words come gushing out as my fingers race to catch them before they disappear. But more often than not, writing feels like squeezing droplets of stuff that’s barely intelligible from my brain.
I’m not the best writer. Most days, I don’t even believe I’m a good writer. And my goodness, are there any other writers out there who write as slow and inefficiently as me?!? (I mean, I know there are, but when I’m alone with my computer, it feels like I’m the only one.)
And this is where following God’s whisper gets tough.
I want to give God my best, but when my best doesn’t feel good enough, I exclaim, “God, why did You choose me for this? I can’t do this!”
And what I really mean is
I’m not the best at this.
This is too hard for me.
You picked the wrong person.
I tried. Can I quit now?
And God whispers to my frustrated soul,
“Walk in obedience.
Abide in My presence.
Rest in My capacity.
This is going to be beautiful.”
God hasn’t called me to be the best or to a life of endless productivity and efficiency. He has called me to obedience, abiding, and rest.
And I must daily die to
my perfectionism and competitiveness,
my obsession with productivity and efficiency,
and my ego and insecurities,
so I can follow Jesus
into a life of wild abundance,
wonder and beauty,
and the pursuit of God-sized, Kingdom dreams.
“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'” (Matthew 16:24, ESV)
What is God whispering to you in this season of your life?
What do you need to die to today so you can follow God’s whisper?
Esther Guy 
I am with you on the struggle to write. Recently, an acquaintance recommended that I watch this old movie “Field of Dreams” and reminded me that Baseball is the McGuffin in the movie. Then we discussed a bit what I can get out of that movie. It really encouraged me a lot to know that we just need to start and build, one step at a time. I hope you get a chance to watch this movie.
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Seeing someone share their fears with others is wonderful in a way; it takes away that sense of isolation when we think we go through these thoughts alone. Sharing burdens lets us see our role models and heroes as people just like us, and that’s a really inspiring thing to realize. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post!
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Yes! That’s my heart in this post. Thanks for reading and for your words!
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You wrote what I have told myself so many times. You definitely are not alone. I applaud you for your obedience in stepping out each and every time you write. I keep reminding God that it is not my blog but His, so I really need His help. Blessings to you.
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