I blogged. Past tense. It was an adventure I started shortly after a phone call from the doctor that changed my life. The words, “You have lupus,” had the potential to devastate me. At least, that’s what I gathered when I googled this strange disease I knew barely anything about. Over and over again, my heart broke as I read stories of lupus sufferers who used words like, “alone,” “despair,” and, “my life is over.” I didn’t feel any of this.
I felt God holding together my broken body and my anxious mind. With all the heavy emotions that flooded my heart, I felt a strong undercurrent of joy and peace. My life had become incredibly hard, but it continued to be good because God remained good. And I knew that what I was experiencing was different from the words that appeared on the screen when I googled lupus. I wanted people to know they could experience what I was experiencing, too. So I blogged.
But after a few years, I came to a place where I was done writing. I had said what I wanted to say, and now it was time for other things. So I walked away from my blog with no intention to blog again.
I had no idea that as I walked away from my blog, I was walking into something big. Not a great, exciting adventure, but the darkest, most painful season of my life. A season where I longed for the voice of God to speak joy and peace into my heart and soul, but instead all I heard from Him was silence. For so long, I was a broken and empty shell, overwhelmed by the silence of God. Then one day, the silence ended. And this is where my new writing adventure begins.
2 thoughts on “Writing (Again)”
Ooh!!! I am so excited to find out more!
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Indeed! Women of faith with lupus do not have to be victims of it. We cannot choose whether we have lupus, or not, but we can choose how we will respond to it.