The Day God Told Me Not to Praise Him Yet (And Why We Need Lament)

I was once at a church thing where a speaker talked about the Hebrew words for praise. At the end of their message, they gave us an opportunity to practice doing each of those words. (Before you read on, I want you to know that I’m not throwing any shade to this speaker at all. And just in case, I’m also not going to tell you who they were. If you want to try to guess, know that I’ve been in many services in more than one country in which speakers have given basically the same presentation. So maybe I’m amalgamating multiple speakers into one; maybe I’m not. 😜 Anyway, back to what I was saying…) One of the Hebrew words for praise is towdah. The translation this speaker gave for towdah was, “to extend the hands with thanks for promises that are coming,” and the Scripture cited was Psalm 50:23.

"Whoever sacrifices a thank offering honors me,
and whoever orders his conduct, 
I will show him the salvation of God." 
(Psalm 50:23, CSB)

Even though I had heard all of this many times before—and had even taught it myself a few times—I listened and took careful notes. And when it was time to practice praising God in different ways, I “knew the drill” and was ready to go. But when the time came to “thank God for promises that are coming,” I couldn’t do it and I sensed the Holy Spirit speak a loud, “no,” into my heart. “You can’t do this yet,” He said. It may seem strange that God would tell me not to praise Him yet. But I had a suspicion for why and decided to check it. So as the sound of people praising surrounded me, I pulled out my Bible and read the passage again—not as an isolated verse, but as a part of a whole—beginning with verse one.

It’s important to remember that the book of Psalms was/is the Jewish prayer and song book. And for Christians today, it’s still meant to be our prayer and song book, giving us language to fully express our hearts to God. And whether we’re reading the Psalms or any other book of the Bible, when we isolate verses from their context, we misunderstand what those verses mean.

So now let’s take a look at Psalm 50. Many words of this psalm would not be suitable to stitch onto a throw pillow:

"Our God is coming; he will not be silent!
Devouring fire precedes him,
And a storm rages around him." 
(Psalm 50:3, CSB)

When someone in the Bible spoke or prayed about God not being silent, there was something they wanted God to respond to. And that something was likely a source of pain, anger, or some other heavy emotion. What (or who) was causing this author to cling to God this way in this psalm? From verse 7, we learn that the offenders were God’s people. (“Listen, my people, and I will speak; I will testify against you…”) These were people who had God’s law and knew what He required of them. In today’s vernacular, we’d say these people went to church, raised their hands and voices during worship, and they might have even been the loudest and most verbose during prayer time. But God rejected their acts of worship and called them “wicked.” Why?

"But God says to the wicked:
'What right do you have to recite my statutes
and to take my covenant on your lips?
You hate instruction
and fling my words behind you.
When you see a thief,
you make friends with him,
and you associate with adulterers.
You unleash your mouth for evil
and harness your tongue for deceit.
You sit, maligning your brother,
slandering your mother’s son.
You have done these things, and I kept silent;
you thought I was just like you.” 
(Psalm 50:16-21, CSB)

In short, Psalm 50 expresses pain and anger about those who outwardly worship God and claim His name, but who also participate in injustice. 

You cannot do the praising of Psalm 50:23 until you have done the lamenting and petitioning of Psalm 50:1-22. There is no shortcut to praise. It’s not that God doesn’t know about our pain unless we express it; it’s that by expressing our pain to Him, we give Him access to it so He can do His transformative work in and through it. God does not ask us to bypass our pain; the God Who Is With Us invites us to walk with Him through our pain. And while we still live in the now and not yet, in a world that is still broken and yearning to be made new, we continue to both lament and praise.

So back to the day when a speaker invited a room full of people to praise God for the promises that are coming: After the Spirit told me, “No, you can’t do this yet,” I broke into tears and lamented, giving voice to injustices I had seen and ways I had been wounded. And after I lamented and poured out my heart to God, I was able to praise.

Book Recommendation

Prophetic Lament: A Call for Justice in Troubled Times, by Soong-Chan Rah

Some of my favorite quotations from this book:

“There is power in bringing untold stories to light.” 

“Lament serves the purpose of providing a necessary step toward praise.” 

“What would happen to our faith if we believed that God reigns sovereign over both our celebration and our suffering?” 

“Lamentations recognizes that individual voices from the full range of citizens must be heard. Lament requires the full and honest expression of suffering; that experience must encompass the full breadth of suffering. In contrast, American evangelical Christianity often presents only the story of the dominant culture. Often, the stories from the ethnic minority communities are not deemed worthy…The power of Lamentations is that the voices of those who have actually suffered are not missing.” 

“In many of our justice endeavors, we often believe that our task is to speak for the voiceless. But maybe we need to follow the book of Lamentations and move the ones who suffer to front and center. The prophet-narrator has much to say, but the real movement and progress is that we hear the actual voice of those who suffer.”

Start With Hello

Confession: I was supposed to publish this the week that this book launched into the world in October of 2022. I posted these words in a number of other places. But even though I had this post ready to go weeks in advance, when the day came, I forgot to hit the “publish” button. I actually didn’t realize this wasn’t already published until I opened up WordPress to write something else. So after months of being out in the world, let me tell you about a book:

Start With Hello, by Shannan Martin

In a society marked by hyper-individuality, a lack of real connection that leaves us lonely, and what feels like insurmountable division, we need Shannan’s words. Through her storytelling, she paints a picture of what our lives together as communities and a society can be. And through her practical wisdom, she gives us a path for how we can move in that direction. (One way she does that is by ending each chapter with “One Simple Way to Move toward Each Other.”)

She ends with “A Neighbor’s Blessing.” If any part of this blessing resonates with you, then this book is for you:

“May you go out into this bewildering world warmed by the fire of possibility.
May you come to see walking shoes, soup spoons, minivans, and wrinkled hands as worthy tools for connection.
May your heart stay tender, your hands stay open, and your door stay easy on its hinges.
May you find comfort in the moon, art in the clouds, and goodness in the faces around you.
May you gather, listen, and hope relentlessly.
And May you never give up on the living light if belonging, right where you are.
Grace and peace and gumption be with you.”

One more thing about this book stands out: In addition to people who resemble herself as a white woman, Shannan Martin gleans wisdom from diverse voices—including men and women who are Black, Asian, Latine, and Indigenous. This book is a demonstration of how learning from diverse voices makes our lived theology more robust.

My Favorite Bible Study Tools

There are SO MANY Bible study tools available. And among them are a lot of great resources as well as a lot of…um…not so great ones. So if you don’t know what you’re looking for (or maybe even if you do), navigating the sea of accessible Bible study tools can be overwhelming. So I thought I’d let you see some of my go-tos. Please note that even though I tried to keep this list short and simple, it can still seem like a lot if you’re just getting started. So after getting a Bible, if you want to start with just one thing, skip to the very end!

My Go-To Bibles:

First things first. The most important tool when you’re studying the Bible is…a Bible.

She Reads Truth Bible – There are a lot of Bibles in my home in a vast array of translations, languages, and editions. But when I’m sitting down to spend time with Jesus, this is the first one I grab. It has helpful resources in it (devotionals, charts, timelines, etc.) but not so much that I get bogged down in overthinking mode. In other words, it has a clean design and doesn’t look like a textbook. It also has wide margins, so it’s a great journaling Bible. (Random fun fact: one of the devotional writers is Jill McDaniel. Who’s Jill McDaniel? She goes to my church and she’s my friend. Also, she’s awesome.)

He Reads Truth Bible – I love my SRT Bible so much that I bought my husband the HRT Bible when it came out. Unlike the SRT Bible, the HRT Bible doesn’t have any devotionals in it. BUT, it does contain more resources (charts and such) that they developed after making the She Reads Truth Bible. Because of that, it’s not uncommon for me to borrow my husband’s Bible.

ESV Study Bible – This is pretty much the gold standard of study Bibles! It’s what I go to when I want to get into the nitty gritty. Its pages contain a wealth of diagrams, charts, notes, and a whole lot more. (Something to keep in consideration is that many of the notes in this study Bible are written from a more Reformed perspective. If that’s a turnoff for you, I list another great study Bible below.)

Digital Bibles:

Bible.com – This is a free digital Bible website and app. I mostly use this when I’m on the go or when I’m looking up passages in multiple versions. (I also link to Bible.com whenever I quote passages in my blog. 😉 ) The She Reads Truth app and He Reads Truth app are also great digital Bible options.

Since words—especially words in the Bible—don’t always mean what we think they mean, here are a couple websites where you can click/tap on a word in a passage and find out what it means: NetBible.org and BibleWebApp.com.

Bible Background Resources:

Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible – I didn’t list this under the “My Go-To Bibles” category because I only have this Bible in Kindle format, so I mostly use it for the articles. If you don’t already have a study Bible, I highly recommend this one! (I link the NIV below, but it also comes in NKJV and NRSV.)

To be honest, I don’t use the Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible as much because the following two books are my go-to for historical and cultural background deep dives.

John Walton and Craig Keener, the writers for the notes in the Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible, are the same people who wrote these commentaries. When I read these commentaries, I often find myself exclaiming out loud, “What?! This passage makes so much more sense now!”

The IVP Bible Background Commentary: Old Testament

The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament

A note about commentaries for Biblical studies and ministerial students: I use a lot more commentaries than what I list here. I’m not going to list any of them here, because the point of this post is to give people who are beginning to study the Bible a starting point. Which commentaries are best? It depends on which book of the Bible you’re studying and what you’re looking for in a commentary. So when you’re picking commentaries, do your research and use more than one source when you can (libraries can help!).

If I Had to Pick Just One to Get Started:

BibleProject.com – From the BibleProject website: “BibleProject is a nonprofit animation studio that produces short-form, fully animated Bible videos and other Bible resources to make the biblical story accessible to everyone, everywhere. We create 100% free Bible videospodcasts, and Bible resources to help people experience the story of the Bible.”

I love BibleProject so much that I got their ginormous coffee table book that has all the diagrams and summaries from the videos for each book of the Bible.

Honestly, I could spend hours just sitting and watching BibleProject videos. They have so much to explore! But when it comes to my regular Bible study, what do I do with these BibleProject resources? Before I begin reading a book of the Bible, I like to watch the corresponding video that “outlines its structure and design and how it fits into the entire biblical story.” And then I like to keep the coffee table book open close by so that if I feel like I’ve lost where I am in the larger story—especially when I’m reading a particularly lengthy book—I can glance up and get my bearings.


Okay, so I told you some of my go-tos. What are some of yours?

14 Days of Deep and Slow

white ceramic mug on white textile
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Our lives have been interrupted, but this is a time when we can focus on the things that matter most, a time for growth and beauty. So for each day in the next 2 weeks, I’m giving you something you can read or listen to—a blog post, podcast, recording, book—that can help you slow down and go deep in some way.

 

Day 1 | Blog: A Rule of Life

Something I’ve been cultivating is a rule of life, a rhythm of spiritual disciplines. These next couple of weeks are a great time to lean into it even more! If the idea of a rule of life is new to you, here’s something I wrote a couple months ago to give you some ideas to help you start your own.

 

Day 2 | Podcast: Bridgetown Church Series on Scripture (You can also find this on Spotify.)

This series on the Bible is all the yeses and wows. I’m seriously going to listen to it again and again.

 

Day 3 | Book: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, by John Mark Comer

This book is life changing. And with everything that’s happening, it feels as though this is our moment to fully embrace and live out this message.

 

Day 4 | Music: Bach’s Unaccompanied Cello Suites, performed by Yo-Yo Ma

You can never listen to Yo-Yo Ma playing Bach’s Unaccompanied Cello Suites too many times in your lifetime. You just can’t.

 

Day 5 | Blog: God’s Presence in Our Suffering

This is the story of my lupus diagnosis and how God reshaped my faith. (If you’d rather listen to it, you can do that here.)

 

Day 6 | Podcast: Ask NT Wright Anything

N.T. Wright. What more do I need to say? Except that at the end of some episodes, he sings a song and plays the guitar. I mean, how cool is that?

 

Day 7 | Music: Universalis, by Hammock

Hammock is my favorite thing to listen to when I want to read, write, pray, and create.

 

Day 8 | Church: Central Assembly’s YouTube Channel

For such a time as this, technology and the internet are a blessing. If you don’t have a church home (or if your church doesn’t have the capabilities to do online streaming of services), you can check out my church’s YouTube channel. (Bonus: my pastor’s a rocket scientist! I’m not kidding!)

 

Day 9 | Blog: Why I Threw Out My Five-Year Plan

If you’re worried about how current events may affect your five-year plan, this one’s for you!

 

Day 10 | Podcast: Go + Tell Gals

This podcast is for women running on mission. These episodes aren’t your typical “You got this!” messages. They are a beautiful, weekly dose of depth + practicality + encouragement.

 

Day 11 | Book: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I had to put at least one novel on the list! I’m reading through this for the first time and I’m regretting that fact I never read it before!

 

Day 12 | Music: Sleeping At Last Enneagram

A bit of self discovery set to beautiful music? Yes, please!

 

Day 13 | Podcast: The Office Ladies

Laughter and joy are important. Just as I wanted add at least one novel to the list, I also wanted to add something fun.

 

Day 14 | Music: What a Wonderful World, performed by Anderson & Roe

If you need a moment to take your eyes off the darkness and see some light, here you go!

 

My Goals (and Un-Goals) for 2020

The approaching of a new year means new beginnings and new goals. I have the amazing ability of getting stuck in a rut and judging myself harshly for it, so January 1 is like my grace and hope filled reset button.

I didn’t complete every single goal I set out to accomplish in 2019. But I did complete a good number of them. And for the ones I didn’t complete, I’m definitely much farther along from a year ago. I’d rather set a goal and have progress than not set a goal and not move forward! To help me make progress this past year, I tried out Powersheets from Cultivate What Matters. It’s a tool that helps you articulate and track your goals. I loved it so much I’m using them again this year.

My Goals for 2020

1. Cultivate a prophetic ear + a rule of life.

This is what everything else in my life will flow from.

(If you’re wondering what a rule of life is, it’s simply a plan for spiritual disciplines within daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly rhythms. If you want to know more about a rule of life, you can learn more about it in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero and Sacred Rhythms, by Ruth Haley Barton.)

2. Love my people and the people in my circle of influence well.

This means meals, coffee dates, hospitality, and life in the mundane.

3. Save, spend, and give money meaningfully.

Track my spending and create a budget!

Buy no more than 10 clothing/shoe/jewelry items…the whole year.

4. Send my book proposal to a literary agent (or 20).

This means I have to finish writing my book proposal!

5. One fun thing every month.

What is fun? Nothing that involves striving or productivity, and not something I do every/most weeks.

This is a goal I’m bringing back from last year because it was so life giving and I want to keep growing in this area. (And the fact that I have to make fun a goal in order to do it lets me know I still have a lot of growing to do!)

7. Project Dream Room: make our home library beautiful.

This is another goal I’m bringing back from last year. I made some baby steps, but our home library still looks like a disaster.

8. Love my body.

Take care of it. Nourish it. Make it strong. Be grateful for it.

*****

Un-Goals

It’s a great practice to have positive goals where we want to accomplish things or make changes in our lives, but we can’t do that if we’re just adding more and more things to our to-do lists. There comes a point where we can’t add anymore. We have to say “no” to things so we can say “yes” to the things that matter most.

So here are a couple of my Un-Goals for 2020:

1. Read less books and read slower. (My Goodreads goal: 5 books) Don’t read out of obligation or self-imposed pressure. Don’t let books clutter my mind.

2. No buying any bags or pouches. I’m obsessed with bags and bags I can put in bags! I have enough. So unless someone breaks in our house and steals every bag and pouch I own, I’m not buying another one for at least a year.

*****

When I get to the end of 2020, I don’t want to be full of guilt and regret. I want to know I lived the abundant life God ordered for me.

So let’s do this! Let’s enter this new year (and decade!) with expectation, intention, and a whole lot of grace!

Books I Loved in 2019

gray mug on top of piled books
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After my post about my year of 100 books, people have asked me what books I enjoyed in 2019. Listed in the order that I read them, here’s a list of my favorites—the ones that moved me, the ones that opened my eyes, the ones I can’t stop recommending, and the ones I want to read again and again.

1. The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers, by Maxwell King

Mister Rogers made a huge impact on my life. So of course, I couldn’t pass up the first full-length biography of one of my childhood heroes. Bonus: the audiobook is read by LeVar Burton, another one of my childhood heroes!

2. The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah

I believe reading novels is important. They make us more empathetic, creative, and articulate. This one made me cry!

3. The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure, by Jonathan Haidt

Wanna understand Gen Z? This is the book to read!

4. Come Matter Here: Your Invitation to Be Here in a Getting There World, by Hannah Brencher

This book challenged me with Brencher’s vulnerability about depression, loneliness, and the struggles of adulthood.

5. Faith in the Shadows: Finding Christ in the Midst of Doubt, by Austin Fischer

I couldn’t stop highlighting as I read this book. If you’re struggling with your faith, battling doubt, or feeling disillusioned by Fundamentalism, you want to read this book!

6. The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism, by Jemar Tisby

This book is a must read. It hurts in all the right ways! In addition to being a hope-filled vision for the Church in regard to racial issues, it is a beautiful example of how to dig into history and also how to properly interpret Scripture.

7. Silence and Beauty: Hidden Faith Born of Suffering, by Makoto Fujimura

Wow. This book is about art, literature, culture, suffering and trauma, Japan, the gospel…Almost every page in my book is marked. I had high expectations before I began reading it and it exceeded them.

8. Miss Mink: Life Lessons for a Cat Countess, by Janet Hill

This is a picture book. It’s ridiculous and I love it!

9. The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide, by Jenna Fischer

This book is for aspiring actors, but it has so much wisdom for anyone wanting to go into an artistic field. Also, the audiobook version is fabulous.

10. Spiritual Rhythms for the Enneagram: A Handbook for Harmony and Transformation, by Adele & Doug Calhoun and Clare and Scott Loughrige

This book goes beyond knowledge about the Enneagram and delves into how we can partner with God to do the transformative work in our lives.

11. You Are the Girl for the Job: Daring to Believe the God Who Calls You, by Jess Connolly

This book is for anyone who has doubted themselves or is struggling to take the next step (or even first step) in what they feel called to do. The author packs this book with so much practical advice, wisdom, encouragement—and no fluff!

“We are the girls for the job because of the God of all capacity who not only calls us but equips us, and dwells within us, enabling us to carry out His plans. We are able to live, to love, to move, to repair, to receive, to heal, to hope because of Him. We are the girls for this job, for this season, for this life, for the joy and blessing of those around us at this appointed time because God has placed us here. He’s called us to be his ambassadors, and he doesn’t make mistakes.”

This book will fill you with a fire and give you tools to move forward and run on mission.

12. Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, by Ruth Haley Barton

I needed this book. It has shifted my prayer life, my daily and weekly rhythms, how I view my body…It challenges you to go deeper into spiritual disciplines while breaking them down to make them practical and accessible.

What I Learned in My Year of 100 Books

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One of my goals for 2019 was to read/listen to 100 books. I was able to achieve (and surpass) this goal by carrying a book with me everywhere I go and using Hoopla, an app that allows you to borrow audiobooks from your local library.

Here’s some stuff I learned from my year of 100 books:

– I enjoy listening to audiobooks when I’m in slow moving traffic.

– 100 books is too many books for me in the span of one year. I often found myself hurrying to gulp down books to achieve my 100 book goal. And the hurry took away the joy and my ability to think about what I had read. Many books are like a hot cup of tea; they need time.

– I want to listen to more podcasts.  There are some podcasts I started listening to, but I’m way behind because there are only so many hours in a day when I can read and listen to audiobooks. In my year of 100 books, podcasts were too hard to fit.

– A lot of book titles are better than the books themselves.

– Not every book is worth my time. Before this year, I wanted to read all the books. I still love books, but I no longer want to read all of them. I want to read all the good books. Life is too short to waste reading books that don’t challenge, or grow, or delight me. On a related note…

– It’s okay to not finish a book.

– I need quiet in my life. And books—even though you can have quiet while you’re reading—can be noise for my mind. Yes, there are books that are a welcome escape. But sometimes my mind doesn’t need an escape; sometimes my mind needs to be present in this very moment.

So what’s my reading goal for 2020? To read less. That’s right. I want to read less. If I read 5 good books in 2020, that’s enough for me!

My Favorite Enneagram Resources

person sitting near table with teacups and plates
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If you and I were to sitting down for coffee, it wouldn’t take long before the topic of the Enneagram came up. I LOVE talking about the Enneagram!

Why? Because I love getting to know people and understanding them at a deeper level. But here’s the thing: I naturally put people into a box of what my own personality looks like and I struggle to see things from other people’s point of view. The Enneagram helps me “get” people better.

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, there’s a plethora of great resources out there and it can get quite overwhelming trying to figure out where to start. So to help you out, here’s a list of some of my favorite resources.

Website

The Enneagram Institute – If you don’t know where to begin, this is the perfect place to start. This site has easy-to-navigate descriptions of the nine types. It also has a reliable and affordable test if you’re struggling to figure out which type is yours.

Books

The Road Back to You – This is a great primer for understanding the nine types.

The Path Between Us – I personally enjoyed this book more than The Road Back to You because it deals with our relationships with others. The book description on its Amazon page says, “Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others―and in ourselves. This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others’ personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships.”

The Sacred Enneagram – I’ve never felt more seen than when I read this book. I will probably read this book again and again throughout my lifetime.

Instagram Accounts

@justmyenneatype

Music

Sleeping At Last – It may seem weird to have a music section on a post like this, but I can’t leave out Sleeping At Last’s enneagram-based songs. The music and lyrics of each of these songs are carefully crafted to reflect of the types in a way that words alone cannot.

Stuff for Your Home

All Good Things Collective Enneagram Line – The thing I love about these prints and canvases is that they have two for each type—one that focuses on each type’s strength and one that focuses on each type’s weakness.

Enneagram & Coffee – Because coffee.

 

If you’re wondering why I didn’t list any podcasts, it’s because I don’t listen to podcasts much. I don’t have anything against them, I’m just not a podcast person.

What are your favorite Enneagram resources? Tell me in the comments. 🙂